If i come over, it means nothing
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I stole a fireplace last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
