We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize