We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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