check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I will be naked everywhere
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
