are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
