we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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