sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
