Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
