don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
