You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize