Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
