how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
