I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I fill condoms, not promises.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
