wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
