I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
