My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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