How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
