K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize