still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
