end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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