i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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