...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
