you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize