Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
