you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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