you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
