This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was confusing and full of hummus
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize