Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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