whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
