id be glad to
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
