HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
