Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
