Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
