I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
