you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
