We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
