Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
