We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she looked like the before picture.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
