he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
