Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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