he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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