I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
