How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
