he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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