I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
