Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
