This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
