I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize