Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
