it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
