I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
