Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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