never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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