I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
