my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
