stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize