Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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