Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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