So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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