We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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