Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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