i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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