on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
