i think i have herpe
just one?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
