someone get that fucking seahorse.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
