how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
