i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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