Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
