My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
