As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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