Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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