I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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