you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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