I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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